The Story: It took me three times to get into Maxwell Silverman’s before I could enter and get a drink. It was one of my greatest ordeals on this tour. For Maxwell Silverman’s, I went there three times. Twice too many I think, but let’s talk about my two aborted efforts.
The First Attempt of Storming the Silverman: This was three months ago, Friday, at 4:30. I know it was early, but I had just been to Armsby Abbey and it was getting packed, so I figured that I might see someone there. I didn’t know at the time that the big attraction to the place is old folk dancing to disco, I didn’t know I was too late for the mother load. I went in and it was empty, so I left and went to the parking lot to figure out if I should just not go or try another time.
But during my time of debating I suddenly realized I had to use the facilities. So I said, I will go into the place and use the bathroom and then, I will get a drink. to pay for the use of the bathroom. I walked in and saw the smiling hostess. I said, “I will be getting a drink,, but is it alright if I just use the bathroom first?” Her smile receded to a blank look of annoyance. And then she stared at me. And stared at me. Didn’t not respond, just stared. Now I came from work, so I was presentable (of course my day job is as a Rodeo Clown, so I think I looked fetching) but yet she looked at me like a I was bug, a bug who was doing the “need to pee: dance. “Sorry, I said. I guess I;ll go.” She nodded and I ran out of there. I walked quickly to Mezcal Cafe. I said I needed the bathroom and then I would get a drink to their hostess and she pointed the way to the rest room.
I was going to not go back to Maxwell Silverman’s, but was convinced I needed to see the Jurassic Dance where all the older folk boogie down. So I said sure,I will go again.
What I learned from the Experience: Maxwell Silverman’s does not believe in bodily functions. They only like arid robots to come when the place is completely empty.
The Second Attempt of Storming the Silverman: This was a Friday at 10:30 and the place was busy. I had to park a couple blocks away. What you need to know before I go on is that I was wearing a t-shirt my son picked out for me, it had a graphic of the poster to the movie Jaws, With the word Jaws written on it. (Know where this going?)
I walked into the place and there were a lot of people dancing. I started to head to the bar and a nicely dressed young man smiled and stood in my way. He politely told me that he could not let me in because my shirt has writing on it. He said I could not go in unless I have a jacket to cover up the offending t-shirt or maybe a shirt in the trunk of my car.I didn’t. I asked if I really couldn’t get in because of the word Jaws. He said that written t-shirts was not allowed, but I could take the shirt off and put it on inside out and I would be allowed in. I just couldn’t. I know it would have been funny for the blog, but I just couldn’t drink a gin and tonic with an inside out shirt.
And let me ask the question. Its okay to look like the kid who got hit in the head by a horse and wear a shirt inside out but it was forbidden to show the word Jaws? I left and heard a group of men walking in, swearing and talking trash about women and other men in a very derogatory fashion. But they had no written words on their shirts, so they were allowed in.
I told a friend and he thought it would be funny to get a nice dress shirt and stencil on the word Jaws and see if I would be allowed in. But really, was Maxwell Silverman’s is not worth that much effort. I was going to go, and I did, which will be in the next post, but it wasn’t worth so much strain or clever ruses.
What I learned from the Experience: Maxwell Silverman’s does not believe in words. You can be a total jerk and talk crap about women, or wear ugly clothes, just don’t bring in words. Maxwell Silverman’s is for illiteracy. I mean just look at their catering bus where they list all the events they supply food for, they misspelled bar mitzvah. They wrote ba mitzvah. The place just does not like words.
That was my two failed attempts. I will be posting later today the time I did go.